How do you handle conflict in your relationships?
When I work with individuals, couples and families in counselling, and they are hard on themselves for not handling conflict well, I will ask them, “where did you learn how to do that, handle conflict well?” and most people will say they never were taught that. If anything, they were taught conflict is bad, avoid it, it’s a sign of issues in a relationship.
Conflict can be such a healthy tool in your relationships, if it is done right, and if you were not taught that it is a tool in your relationships, then of course you do not know how to do it “right” and that is totally okay.
Healthy conflict has layers to it and it takes time to learn it. For example, being able to talk to someone about the origin of how you learned about conflict, and even how you learned about communication, identifying which type of communicator you are, learning about boundaries and different ways we show up in conflict in our relationships, can give you the tools you need to start having health conflict in your relationships.
If you feel that you are having the same fight over and over in your relationship(s), if you are feeling unheard or not listened to, if you feel misunderstood it may be a great time to talk to a counsellor for support and work together to help you become a person who can knows how to have healthy conflict in their relationships.
Tips to get you started:
· Gottman’s 4 horsemen is a great tool to see what type of characteristic(s) you are in your relationships when you are experiencing conflict
· Identify what type of communicator are you; assertive, passive or aggressive.
Please feel free to reach out to someone on our team to start this journey by visiting our website and clicking on ‘Get Started’ to book a free consultation with one of our psychotherapists.
For any questions you may have you can email us at rngcounselling@gmail.com or call 647-702-8553
We offer low fee counselling and all of our psychotherapist offer sliding fee scales.
Author
Chrissi Stronach- Owner/Operator/Psychotherapist (she/her/hers)
MACP; RP# 14461, CCC#10007143 & RCC #18099
(please note the above is based on the authors opinion)
